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| Things to REALLY think about; before moving overseas | |
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| Topic Started: Feb 20 2007, 05:10:54 AM (5,568 Views) | |
| TerritorianTori | Feb 20 2007, 05:10:54 AM Post #1 |
Dance to disco
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This was originally posted on UK-Yankee.com [linked here] by Mindy and other long-time members there. It's been changed slightly for the Americans-in-Australia crowd.
 This is a topic that I've been thinking about for awhile now. I haven't posted it as a response to anyone, and I don't want anyone to think it's aimed at them. It isn't. It's just some honest advice that I think people should take into consideration before making the move. I think that at times people get a bit carried away with being in love and don't think about the reality of moving to a different country. And I also think that because our two cultures are similar and we speak the same language they think that it's going to be easier than it actually is. I also don't want to be too negative or scare people off. You can move here and make a life and be happy, but there are some things that I think would be a good idea to ask yourself. *Are you open minded? Moving to a new country is remarkable experience, but you need to be able to look at things from a different viewpoint than the one you were raised with. You're going to meet people with different backgrounds, opinions and ways of doing things. You need to accept that the American way is not the only way. *Are you set in your ways? Things are different here. Schools, hospitals, banking and work practices are just a few of the many things that you're going to run up against that are 'not the way we do it'. You have to be willing to learn how things work if you are going function in a country that is totally not like your own *Are you diplomatic? You're going to come across people who are critical of your country and its government. You are going to need to keep your cool and talk yourself out of some situations where you feel uncomfortable. You're also going to have learn when someone's only joking and when someone's serious about this. *Are you good at watching and listening? You need to learn everything. The best way to do this is to watch other people, see how they do things without telling them how you think it should be done. *Are you a homebody? If you've never left the place where you were born, if you're very close to your family, then it's going to be difficult. Really difficult. You need to be prepared to have years between visits home, you need to be prepared to not see parents, siblings and nieces and nephews. The most difficult part of being an expat is having bad things-death, illness, accidents-happen and not being able to be there. You're going to miss good things too- weddings, births, family parties. And not all family and friends are good about keeping in touch. A lot of expats feel abandoned by their families when they move. *Do you have family support? You need your family to be behind you in a supportive non-judgemental way. It's not impossible without this, but it sure makes it easier. *Are you determined? It's not easy making friends here. Australians, especially women, relate to eachother a little bit differently from Americans. They tend to make friends young and hang onto them for life. You can make friends but it will take determination and a thick skin on your part. You need to be outgoing and proactive. *Are you adventurous? You'll have to take buses and trains, and go to unfamiliar places. Everyone will be a stranger to you. You have got to be brave or you'll never leave the house. *Is your career everything to you? Because it's not always easy to find a job in your field and a lot of people have had to take jobs that they were vastly overqualified for. And not all degrees and qualifications automatically transfer. It takes a lot of perseverance to find the right job for you. * Can you live on a tighter budget than you're used to? Not only may you have a lower salary than you did in the US, but you may find that the cost of living in Australia is higher. Don't assume that you will be able to dine out every week, or buy the latest fashions as soon as they show up in the shops. * Are you running away from anything? A job you hate, family problems, a bad relationship, depression? Most people go through a very stressful adjustment period when they get to a new country to live - either for a set length of time or indefinitely. While it is entirely possible to work through your issues during the process of moving, you need to be prepared for the fact that life might not be all smiles and roses right away. * Do you have realistic expectations of what life in Australia may be like? Have you visited (yes, some people plan moving here having never visited!)? Have you spent a significant amount of time here? If not, make sure that your perceptions of everyday life over here are not based on books you've read, television shows, etc. Remember that Australia is like any other country -- your way of life will vary according to the place you live and your income, amongst many other things. Try to not build up a vision of life here based on stereotypes or you be disappointed. * If you are moving over with kids, make sure you know the differences in the educational system & if it would work for your kids. Be prepared for some serious blowouts with them...or they may love it while you are unhappy. * If you are moving over with kids: Is your nuclear family secure? While you are adjusting to a new place, the only people you will have to rely on is each other. Your kids will need that stability. * *Are you willing to try new things? There's no good Mexican food, there's no Wal-Mart, there are no graham crackers or Hersheys chocolate. You're going to have to try new food, find substitutes, shop in unfamiliar stores. If this fills you with dread or you can't cook without Hamburger Helper it's going to be difficult. * If moving over to be with a spouse -are they aware of what issues you may face? Can you speak to them openly? Are they control freaks that insist you automatically do everything their way? Or tell you everythign you do is wrong? Basically, do you have an open and healthy relationship? Moving countries is hard work and if your spouse is a horses patootee it will not help. * For the ladies (certainly something I've had to consider) -- are you willing to have and raise a baby without your own mother/grandmother/family around long-term? * If moving over to be with a spouse - what are your in-laws like? Do they like you? Are they accepting of the fact that you're "different"? * If moving over to be with a spouse - are you commited? If in the back or your mind, you're thinking that this is only temporary or you're going to be able to change your spouse's mind about moving, then you're probably kidding yourself. You'll find it hard to settle if you really haven't got the mindset that this is your new life and you've got to live it. If your spouse has said he/she doesn't want to move to the US, he's probably not going to change his mind, and once you have a mortgage and babies and commitments that will get harder and harder. *Do you think you can change people? The person you're marrying/moving to be with is NOT American. They're not going to become American. They aren't going suddenly start dressing/acting/talking and beleiving like an American. If you have kids, they are not going to be American. And you cannot recreat the 'American Experience'. It doesn't exist and you're just going to make everyone unhappy with all your comparing. *Are you creative? You'll need to incorporate your own traditions into Australian ones. You'll need to be able to find substitutions for food items you're used to. And you'll need to look at new ways to celebrate holidays that are important to you. * Are you willing to seek professional help? Many expats suffer from depression... not just sadness, but depression... they then try to "snap out of it" or "go it alone". You need to be willing to ask for help and then follow through with that help sometimes. .... Just one more of my own to add: * The reversal of seasons. How do you feel about celebrating Christmas in the summertime and bundling up during June & July? I'm not talking about once for novelty's sake, but FOREVER. I think this affects people more than they think it will. Also, most Australians don't celebrate Halloween and definitely not Thanksgiving. Unless you go out of your way to celebrate and find all the "authentic" decorations & foods, it'll be "just another day" here. Something else to think about. |
 South Texas to the Northern Territory - since 2004 I'm a huge fan of... Angry Video Game Nerd | The Big Bang Theory | Doctor Who | Pet Shop Boys | Yanks Down Under ~ Americans living in Australia Avatar by Sketch Shop Boys | |
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| Canyonland | Apr 7 2007, 06:27:47 AM Post #2 |
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True Blue Mate
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Reading through this post, I don't know if I should run for the door about moving, although, to late now we are selling our house this next friday
 Reading this post and then also the post about the pros and cons or relating AUS and US. WOW my optimism and excitment for adventure almost run dry! I am now wondering wow, this better be a "GOD Thing" because if it isn't, we are sure to fail! I am seriously questioning if I have what it takes to do this. I mean, I am going to do this-full steam ahead-however, I am a little scared!
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[size=7]Jenifer[/size]
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| Bindie | Apr 7 2007, 09:02:03 AM Post #3 |
True Blue Mate
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I think most of us were scared. I will never forget my first day here after having flown 14 kajillion hours on a plane, then being in a car three more hours to get to Canberra from Sydney. We were exhausted. But Huz's family hadn't seen him in 4 years so everyone - all 13 skillion - had to come over that evening. I was so. . . just so something that I couldn't come out to visit. I just layed in bed, begging off with being too tired. I could hear them in there, sounding so happy and I just layed there thinking over and over, what have I done? WHAT have I DONE? I think it's good that you have a sense of adventure, because that's what it is, especially at first. It's seeing new things and being surrounded by a foreign accent. It's all wonder and surprise. To me, it's the transition between that holiday sort of life and the real life where some of the problems occur. Because no matter how romantic the idea of giving it all up and moving to Australia sounds, you still have to find a job and pay bills. You still have to get the groceries and you still have to clean your house. My way of dealing with it is still seeing the wonder of living here. I never get tired of the sqwaking cockatoos, the endless blue sky, the gum trees, the weather, or my view of the Brindabella mountains. The fog over Canberra early in the morning, hot air balloons bobbing around, is still a site to behold for me. I still feel lucky to have had the opportunity to live here. Because, really, whoda thunk it? |
 The future is no place/to place your better days, DMB Canberra, ACT since 2004 | |
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| incognito | Apr 7 2007, 09:10:21 AM Post #4 |
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Chatterbox
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Canyonland - you can do it! But, I think it's good to realize it's not going to be a complete bed of roses all the time and that there is an adjustment period. And like Bindie said so well, eventually you have to pay your bills, buy the groceries, clean your house, etc. Some people make the big move with no idea of the struggles they may face, and I think that makes things worse for them in the end. Moving to the other side of the world is a BIG DEAL! But, it an be an incredibly rewarding experience and you may just wake up one day after you move feeling you've found paradise! |
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| flgirlinsydney | Nov 15 2007, 09:19:57 PM Post #5 |
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Chinwagger
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That was a great posting, I kinda wish I would have read it a year ago. We've been here 4 months and I'm feeling lots of the things you mentioned. And I did think of most of them before, but REALLY thought...well this will be a growing experience for all of us and with a optimistic outlook it will be a great adventure. Well not so much, we're still working out major kinks and we'll just have to see how it goes. Everyone has told me that it takes at least 6 months to get it together, so we'll have to seen how we're doing in 2008. |
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http://www.floridagirlinsydney.blogspot.com In Sydney since June 2007 for my husband's job. | |
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| elsja | Dec 4 2007, 06:08:34 PM Post #6 |
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aussie pilot lover
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I moved to Australia 2 months ago from California and I can tell you that I have thought/felt/experienced and worried about EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THESE!!! although not so much the kid ones- because I don't have kids yet. But I do think about the future and raising kids without my mom and sister aroundt to help. THis post really sums it ALL up. Christmas is so different here, halloween just wasn't the same, thanksgiving doesn't even exist! I've actually found my move easier than I thought it would be. I've had a few "moments" of really missing home, but I moved here to be with my boyfriend and our relationship is great so it makes it a lot easier. I'm so glad I found this site. This is my first day on here and I can't wait to read all the stories and posts. I wish I found this before my move, it would have helped with so many things. |
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Elsja's Bloggity Blog | |
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| JabbzysGirl | Mar 3 2009, 09:21:41 AM Post #7 |
True Blue Mate
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lol i don't care! i am STILL going to celebrate Halloween and my nuclear family WILL celebrate Thanksgiving!!! lol here in Miami, all the Hispanics celebrate THEIR Central and South American holidays and customs, and they've brought us salsa and merengue dancing, Quincenieras (15th birthdays), arroz con frijoles, cafe con leche, and all sort of Latin pieces of culture. So yeah...my American-ness is coming with me!!! And my Aussie hubby and Aussie kids will learn it all and do it all WITH me!! :P |
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| TerritorianTori | Mar 3 2009, 11:23:48 AM Post #8 |
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Dance to disco
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Oh, lots of people continue their traditions in some form... the point is to say that it's not gonna be easy. Unlike the Latin-American population in the US, there aren't too many of us here in Oz. It's not as easy to find all the stuff you need. Just have a read through some of the Thanksgiving threads in the Tucker Time forum. And - let's just say, some of us have found that our neighbours aren't too receptive to teh eebil American culture. 
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South Texas to the Northern Territory - since 2004 I'm a huge fan of... Angry Video Game Nerd | The Big Bang Theory | Doctor Who | Pet Shop Boys | Yanks Down Under ~ Americans living in Australia Avatar by Sketch Shop Boys | |
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| Deleted User | Mar 4 2009, 09:20:44 AM Post #9 |
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Deleted User
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no good mexican food? LIES! Jabbzysgirl ate at a place called "mexican graffitti" FANTASTIC PLACE! |
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| TerritorianTori | Mar 4 2009, 11:44:09 AM Post #10 |
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Dance to disco
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...says the Aussie.   (I take it you're the man in question? Welcome!  )
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South Texas to the Northern Territory - since 2004 I'm a huge fan of... Angry Video Game Nerd | The Big Bang Theory | Doctor Who | Pet Shop Boys | Yanks Down Under ~ Americans living in Australia Avatar by Sketch Shop Boys | |
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| JabbzysGirl | Mar 5 2009, 06:05:52 AM Post #11 |
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True Blue Mate
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 LOL yep i asked him to join so he can help me figure all this stuff out and read along with me!  LMAO! yeah it was okay for Mexican food made by Aussies (i was hoping to find a Mexican flag in there or some Mexicans in the back cooking, but nope, just a huge Aussie flag hanging over our table with Aussie servers BUTCHERING the names and pronunciations of the food!!!!  ), then again Jabbzy has not tried AUTHENTIC Mexican yet  We got some of those here in Miami! But nooooooooooooooooooooooo all he wanted to eat was AMERICAN MACCAS! (McDonalds) and visit a WALMART! indeed the highlights of his trip to America Baby you are too funny
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| gpierce | Mar 5 2009, 09:54:55 AM Post #12 |
True Blue Mate
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So you didn't take him to Costco? That and a place called Claim Jumper was one of the first places I would take Aussie visitors. They would marvel at the pallets full of Dom Perignon and the massive quantities of food. One guy still calls Claim Jumper "That Dinosaur bone restaurant":) Was he a Miami Vice fan or too young for that?:) Any Miami Vice fan would have a lot of fun there looking at all the "famous" places in South Beach. I lived in California mostly, but my grandparents were in West Palm beach, and my brother lived in Sarasota. I've been to Miami at least 10 times. Great Art Deco architecture. There is a fair bit of that influence here in Sydney, little features here and there. Greg |
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| kissy | Nov 18 2009, 07:10:37 AM Post #13 |
Chinwagger
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haha I told my aussie man that he can thank his lucky stars that he gets a huge dinner on november 25th every year....he loves the idea trust me:)
Edited by kissy, Nov 18 2009, 07:13:49 AM.
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| sheowahya | Nov 18 2009, 06:47:40 PM Post #14 |
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True Blue Mate
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Forgetting the fact that Thanksgiving is not the 25th every year, I know exactly what you mean, my guy loves my "YANK" holidays when they come with food |
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My Timeline ======= Category 136 BN - Skilled Independent. Skills Assessment: Applied ICAA: 13May05 Addtional Classes Required: 08Aug05 Re-submitted PASA: 05Feb07 Approved as Accountant 2211-11: 26Feb07 Main Visa Application: Sent to ASPC: 12Mar07 Application received: 16Mar07 Acknowledgement received: 10May07 Credit Card Charged: 10May07 CO assigned: TBD Medicals sent UNrequested: 26Jul07 PPC sent UNrequested: 18Jul07 VISA Approved: 07Nov07 Main move to Australia: 17Apr08 | |
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| steve@b112 | Jun 20 2010, 10:32:22 AM Post #15 |
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Anklebiter
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Do Australians celebrate Halloween? |
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| TerritorianTori | Jun 20 2010, 11:09:06 AM Post #16 |
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Dance to disco
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No, not really. Although the concept seems to be gaining some popularity. A few of the local nightclubs announced "Halloween parties" last year. |
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South Texas to the Northern Territory - since 2004 I'm a huge fan of... Angry Video Game Nerd | The Big Bang Theory | Doctor Who | Pet Shop Boys | Yanks Down Under ~ Americans living in Australia Avatar by Sketch Shop Boys | |
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| JenbeTas | Jun 25 2010, 10:47:00 PM Post #17 |
Hippie Wannabe sailing the deep blue sea
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 I don't think the trick-or-treating aspect is catching on all that fast though (depending where in Australia you are...and I SO wish it would!) but I do see a lot of private parties happen and pub/club Halloween parties. |
 "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and goshdarnit, people like me!" | |
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| staylor8383 | Jun 26 2010, 10:22:36 AM Post #18 |
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True Blue Mate
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last halloween i found mixed on the subject of trick or treating...some aussies are for it and others not so much. i agreed with almost all of the initial post. I try my hardest to keep up with some american traditions, as my kids were born in the us and my oldest knows about most of them or hears about them from family. he is still trying to adjust to moving here, so i do my best to celebrate american holidays. my favorite to celebrate here is obviously thanksgiving and my aussie hubby loves it too!! last year we were still at the in-laws place with no a/c (in darwin!) and i was too keen on cooking a huge meal so we improvised, got dinner from the chook shed and had a picnic at the park, but nonetheless we celebrated thanksgiving aussie style as i called it:) lol! |
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| steve@b112 | Jun 26 2010, 02:14:56 PM Post #19 |
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Anklebiter
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That's really cool! Well I thought that Halloween was everywhere until I started reading the Halloween section on Wikipedia lol. If I do move to Australia, I'll miss the fourth of July, Thanksgiving, and Halloween. |
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| michael | Jun 27 2010, 03:25:56 PM Post #20 |
Piker
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Speaking of the 4th of July. Its almost here. |
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7:45 AM Feb 8